
Hilot and Spoken Word Poetry
Season 1 Episode 4 | 26m 32sVideo has Closed Captions
Unearthing purpose with the traditional healing art of hilot, and spoken word poetry.
Developing a strong sense of identity and purpose can come through self-exploration and communal guidance. Guests Dr. Cat, giver of the traditional healing art of hilot, and Jaime Estepa, queer spoken word poet discuss how honing their art and sharing it with others has unearthed their purpose.
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Out of the Boondocks is a local public television program presented by KPBS

Hilot and Spoken Word Poetry
Season 1 Episode 4 | 26m 32sVideo has Closed Captions
Developing a strong sense of identity and purpose can come through self-exploration and communal guidance. Guests Dr. Cat, giver of the traditional healing art of hilot, and Jaime Estepa, queer spoken word poet discuss how honing their art and sharing it with others has unearthed their purpose.
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorshipRio Villa: The American English word boondocks signify something far and unknown.
Jay Jay Maniquis: But was actually a term from the Tagalog word for mountain, bundok.
Rio: Like the duality in these words, the Filipino experience is one of hidden strength.
Jay Jay: But their mountainous presence always has and always will be there.
Rio: These are Filipinos who create, innovate, and influence.
Jay Jay: Bringing the Filipino's story out of the boondocks.
Cat Sy Luib: I think a lot of times people have the challenge of accepting change, and that's the only constant that we know.
For Hilot, we bring this understanding again, the natural order.
Hilot is such a powerful way to remind people of our nature bodies, that we are nature, to go back to the natural ways.
Jay Jay: Folk medicine uses spiritual healing and herbal remedies for health maintenance existing for millenniums.
Dr. Cat Sy Luib brings hilot and medicinal practices from the Philippines to her clinic here in San Diego.
I had the opportunity to visit with her today to see it for myself and to learn more about indigenous traditions.
Cat: Hilot is the name, the umbrella, by which we know indigenous Filipino medicine.
It does go by many names by all the different languages and islands associated, but we establish as hilot is the name.
It is actually not very prominent in the Philippines in the sense of how it is practiced truly in its form, but hilot, yes, hilot masahe, is in a lot of places around the Philippines today, yes.
Jay Jay: Can we talk a little bit about what hilot masahe is?
Cat: Sure.
So this is the massage part.
It's the modality in the medicine, but the massage is not necessarily all.
It's a bit of that combination of deep tissue Rolfing and using as well banana leaves and cups.
Jay Jay: Banana leaves are rich in chlorophyll and release oxygen as they absorb carbon dioxide from the skin.
Leaves are used to detect pain and pull toxins from the body.
Cupping increases blood circulation where they are placed, relieving muscle tension and boosting immunity.
Jay Jay: What are the physical and the spiritual aspects of hilot?
Cat: So hilot, again, many people think of it as just massage, that it's just physical, but it does address a lot of the mind and the spirit.
So mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Things like stress, yes, the hilot can help alleviate that anxiety, depression as well because this is all emotional energy frequencies that the manghihilot, the practitioner of hilot, is able to clear, and also in ways where we think of transmutation, change that energy.
There's a hard understanding in western medicine that most diseases are actually spirit base.
And even what comes in the door here, even though we see physical manifestation of their illness or disease, most of it is emotional, mental, spiritual.
So this is why when you go to those areas and address where the problem started, it becomes more effective to the heart of the problem.
Cat: And then hands of a manghihilot, we're touching, really connecting with her frame, her physical frame.
This is the vehicle by which her soul is traveling in this three-dimensional plane, and we're just connecting to her vessel to see, "Okay, what needs tune up?
What needs alignment?
What needs flow?"
During this time, we also tell patients those feelings that come through as messages to them.
Jay Jay: What are a few of the supernatural things that you have experienced with hilot, because in the Filipino culture a lot of Filipinos believe in the supernatural?
Cat: First, we can start with defining what supernatural is, right?
And supernatural is anything beyond what we see in the natural eye.
So our hilot, our medicine has no time and no boundary.
When we go through healing of our ancestral traumas that we experience in this lifetime, that is also supernatural, right?
So a lot of things breakthroughs in the healing for our patients that many times over they've been told is hopeless and/or has no cure.
Jay Jay: In your waiting room here you have water from Lourdes, France, which is known for he--like, miraculous healing water in a way, right?
Cat: Yes, so one of the things in hilot is our tubig, so water.
And in this medicine, we recognize that yes, there were things that causes illness with regard to lack of water or either that the water element in that person's body is not in harmony.
We recognize the four elements, very much like the Native Americans, earth, fire, air, and water.
Thanks for Dr. Masaru Emoto.
We are using his research of this element.
So yes, we have the imprint of the Lourdes water.
Jay Jay: Yeah, I was in Lourdes in 2019 and got this, "Bring some water at home."
And in fact, I still think we have some in our living room.
Cat: Yeah, it's the experience that they have when they drink it.
For patients at that right time and space for them to receive they feel a feminine energy when drinking it, they feel that the texture is velvety smooth, and then they feel love, love that opens here from the chest as is described as a sacred lotus blooming.
Cat: We always start our hilot first with prayer, what we're going to integrate as a sound, drumming.
So there used to be a lot of tense areas.
Our bodies hide all of these, this vessel of ours.
So her body is telling me to tell her need to spend more time outdoors with nature.
Jay Jay: Have you experienced practicing hilot in the Philippines or seeing it being practiced in the Philippines, and how does it differ here in the US?
Cat: My experience with hilot in the Philippines was as a receiver, and it was a receiver of both the conventional form that the mainstream they know about like masahe only, and then the other way which is really the healing aspect connecting me to my ancestor.
In fact, the background behind me is of her.
That she was the healer that called me into this medicine too.
Her name, Manang Twa.
Jay Jay: Wow, so it was an ancestor that kind of gave you the inspiration.
Cat: She's the one that called me to the Philippines to learn of this.
And it wasn't as clear as it is now in high-- like, looking back, but there was always that feminine grandma energy calling me.
I learned also from the Hilot Academy.
And the Hilot Academy was actually the extension of a temple of Babaylans.
Jay Jay: Babaylans are pre-colonial shamans that can be found across various ethnic groups in the Philippines.
They are mostly women who specialize in either spirit mediation or in healing and herbal medicine.
Cat: What I practice is hilot binabaylan respectfully, as this has been the way that my babaylan elders taught me.
They teach hilot to help continue the healing of the people.
Then practicing here in the US, of course, I am one of the only ones promoting fully and offering fully the medicine, and I've been practicing it now here in this office, Luib Health Center, here in San Diego for nearly 4 years now.
Jay Jay: Wow, and how have non-Filipinos received hilot, your patients?
Cat: So of those not from the Philippine lineage, they are open to it.
They are seeking this.
They are excited, knowing that now they see a shamanic medicine from the Philippines is being offered in the country.
To see how even their many Filipino friends have this medicine to really be proud of, we have, as I believe it, a really strong, powerful medicine from the Philippines.
So our wellness center is the first to offer it in that capacity.
Jay Jay: What type of satisfaction have you gotten out of this whole practice?
Cat: If you were to talk to me before this time period, I would not be able to help some of the cases that now we do and what we can help with.
So the tool set increased for me as a healer and the understanding as well of what is the unseen.
As a mistake, there's more to that, really, in this reality.
I've seen cases of breakthroughs, spiritual breakthroughs, healing breakthroughs of people finding their power.
And it's very heartfelt for me because this is what I've come to do, right?
When we live a life where you know who you are and you know what you're supposed to do, and then you help people remember their power, it's--that to me is been the greatest thing that I've recognized for myself because these people that come here and remember themselves and remember their power and remember how they can heal, it's love.
Jay Jay: And that's the most powerful thing on earth, right?
Is love and practicing that.
Cat: And the thing is--you know, have there been patients that came to this door that did not receive healing?
Yes.
There are people that will never heal, and as a healer, I recognize and honor that and I bring to their awareness what is trapped in their bodies and some of the things that's trapped in their minds that blocks them from connection with themselves, with the land, and with others.
Hilot is such a powerful way to remind people of our nature bodies, that we are nature, to go back to the natural ways, and eating, as how we naturally always did, and connecting to the beauty, as how our ancestors did, with other beings around us, and keeping the balance.
A lot of those things is very much do you know who you are, you know?
And we've forgotten that.
I think really truly as a people, as a country, throughout the diaspora, we've forgotten our magic, we've forgotten who we really are.
Our ancestors were connected to nature.
Our medicine wasn't in a pill.
It was literally in the making of this plant medicine and honoring the sacred.
Jay Jay: And as for you when it comes to the future of the practice of hilot in generations to come, you're showing it right now by having this office and doing what you're doing, but how do you see the future of hilot?
Cat: You know, the western way, the western sciences have always postured themselves as the medicine of the time.
So in this case, I see a challenge.
I believe that those from the Philippines, they will be curious and they will want to find out, and it's my hope that they will further and continue it.
Jay Jay: Well, thank you so much, Dr. Cat.
It was really educational hearing about hilot.
And I really hope that you continue success and, you know, meeting people and healing people as-- and putting your footprint on this earth.
Cat: Thank you.
Jay Jay: Thank you so much.
♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Jaime Estepa: In second grade, my classmates and I had this activity where we shared our highlights of the week.
My hand rose into the air, and the teacher said, "Jaime, what would you like to share about your week today?"
And I puffed my 7-year-old chest and announced, "My mom made sinigang, but there was no patis."
Even after she asked me to repeat, her expression was still like.
It was almost as if the two non English words I said were sucked into a vacuum, disappearing into the Anglo abyss of her pupils.
announcer: So, everybody, give it up for Jaime Estepa.
Jaime: The vulnerability of what poets share, because like a queer Filipinx person I needed my soul to be fed.
And there was something so raw about the art form that I hadn't seen elsewhere and that I--isn't really mainstream.
Like, spoken word isn't a huge mainstream art.
Rio: This is Jaime Estepa.
In his own words, he is first and foremost a writer, a writer of poems, plays, TV scripts, and spoken-word poetry.
Taking his words from paper to performance has served as a means of catharsis.
We get to talk about his art over some halo-halo.
Rio: I haven't had halo-halo in a really long time.
Jaime: I think I probably had it a few weeks ago.
Rio: Oh, really?
Jaime: Yeah.
It's definitely one of my favorite desserts for sure.
Rio: It's perfect in the summertime too 'cause it's so hot right now.
Jaime: Yeah.
My mom and I--I grew up like making it all the time with my mom, so.
Rio: You're kidding.
Jaime: Yeah, I have.
I used to shave the ice for her, yeah, which is laborious if we're doing it for the whole family.
So I used to be her ice shaver while she used to do everything else for the halo-halo.
I'm from Las Vegas, the unceded lands of the Southern Paiute.
I grew up there pretty much my whole life until it was time for me to go to college.
So that's why I am in San Diego.
And in some ways it almost feels like I'm from here too because I spent like my whole adult life in San Diego.
Rio: You kind of had some like difficulties growing up being Filipino out there in Las Vegas?
Jaime: Like, the Filipino community, like, wasn't as large when I was growing up there.
It exploded in like the last couple of decades.
I had a few Filipino friends, and it was always like having to prove our existence at school.
Like, I literally remember some kid in elementary school telling me that Philippines didn't exist 'cause they didn't know what that was, and there were like a few of us Filipino kids in school, but not like large groups.
Rio: Yeah.
I'm curious what you said to that little kid.
Jaime: I honestly don't--I probably blocked it out, but I just remember being like, "It's real.
That's where my family is from."
Like, stuff like that, but it was totally--it was just a big flip like moving to San Diego, like in comparison.
Jaime: At the time, I didn't know how to say that singang is a sour soup commonly eaten in Filipino households.
Its tang comes from tamarind and mixed in is a range of anything from beef and cabbage, shrimp and broccoli, onion and potato, string beans and patis, a fish sauce used to add a kick, but this is brown and salty like me.
Rio: Where did it start, like your poetry and performing?
Jaime: I think it really started when I was young.
Thankfully, like, I had influences like my dad and my sister.
Like, my dad was kind of one of the first artistic influences 'cause he was like a drawer and a painter.
He never pursued that as a career, but I, like, always saw him doing that growing up.
My sister and I went to the same like Public Arts High School in Vegas.
She was a singer.
So I'd always kind of been surrounded by artistic people, but I didn't know I was going to do poetry.
So I think that was something that they're not familiar with.
I don't know really what started it with poetry.
Like, I think I've always just had a big draw to it.
I was always really great in English class.
Didn't think much of it till I got to SD 'cause I didn't really know that there was a scene for poetry until I came out here because the scene is super strong here.
Rio: What was it about the poetry scene in San Diego that made you feel drawn to it?
Jaime: There was something about like the vulnerability of what poets share in like spoken-word pieces or open mics.
I remember thinking a lot about--when I got to San Diego, thinking about like my queerness, and I needed a way to like just explore it and express my whatever I was feeling about it, and I found that through poetry.
Like, I used to go to open mics or poetry slams in town as like an audience member, never thinking I would be doing that same type of thing like in a few years.
That was kind of where a lot of the influence came from, is I just attended it because I needed my soul to be fed, and there was something so raw about the art form that I hadn't seen elsewhere and that I--isn't really mainstream.
Like, spoken art isn't a huge mainstream art that people really know about unless they're in a community that celebrates it or practices it.
Rio: Spoken word was started by black artists in the 90s and stems from the beat poet movement, blues, jazz, and hip hop.
Its structure and content vary from poet to poet on what they express and how.
Jaime wrote about feelings that are often hard to put into words.
Jaime: There was always something in me that felt like it needed to express through writing, like the things that I couldn't express out loud.
You know, I came out when--like only to a few friends before I had moved to San Diego, but it was San Diego that I really started to come out to a lot more people, and I'd come out to like my support system.
I eventually came out to family after living here for a few years.
And so I think poetry kind of, specifically spoken word, like landed in my life at a really interesting time where--especially like as a college student, like so many things are happening at once in terms of like forming an identity and thinking about who I am and who I've always been.
I mean, if you ever watch a slam, like you'll see that like poets go really deep into their life stories, and it's something that they've really--you can tell like it's something that they've worked on through their writing and through their performance.
What really spoke to me was there was always a few things that I would write about and I wouldn't share with people.
The most I would share it was like on my Tumblr, like on my Tumblr-- Rio: I had a Tumblr too.
Jaime: Yeah.
Only like a handful of my friends had that link to that Tumblr, and I would post poe--like really short poems there, but it was never like enough.
And I think that had to do with really not feeling like enough as a person or enough as like a queer, Filipinx person, of like always having to navigate and proving who I am as like a Filipino in whatever like academic or like social spaces I was in on top of having to prove that I actually am a queer person, 'cause I wasn't raised to like be proud of being queer.
I don't think that's something that's super common in our community.
It was always there while I was always writing about it, and then actually seeing people drop their own stories like was kind of what inspired me to actually get up and tell my own story.
Like, there was a whole lot of power that I found in that in terms of like--in a way almost like coming out to the world every time I would perform something really queer.
Rio: Undoubtedly, there was people in the audience, you know, who saw you and were like, "Okay, I can do this because, you know, he's up there doing it."
So I think that's, like, the most important thing about representation.
It's this beautiful cycle.
We see that person who looks--either looks like us or looks like our parents, and they're doing this bold and creative thing.
It's like really special to see and it's inspiring.
Who were some of those people that you saw that influenced you?
Jaime: There were quite a few.
Not a lot of Asian people, but it was them.
You know, it was a lot.
It was the Asian poets that always stuck out to me, especially 'cause, you know, like growing up, that was something I was always looking for.
It was like community and other Filipinos to connect with.
And so there were literally three of them that I can think of that I saw performing, which is very small out of the whole community, like out of like all of San Diego, going to mics and slams, and they all knew each other.
And so for a while I was like one of their fanboys from the side for a few years, and then when I finally started to actually challenge myself to get up on a mic and go to open mics and share the things that I put on Tumblr, I actually started to meet them.
One of them is the host of tonight's mic, Sherwin Gez.
It was--been with me for a good amount of this journey.
I think something that was really special about the other Filipino poets that I met here, they really saw that I was also trying to say something and that I had a lot to say.
So they kind of took me under their wing and started bringing me out to other events and like just teaching me basic performance techniques or like even like how to actually introduce a topic in a poem, especially like how to do it in a performance piece 'cause it's super different than on the page.
There's definitely a lot more of that like verbal storytelling elements, the lines that make the audience go, "Ah," you know, or that make the audience like react, or clap, or give it like an, "Uh," or a snap or whatever.
We have our own coresponses in that.
And so to the Filipino poets that I've always gravitated towards 'cause they were telling our stories and nobody else was, and that was really special to me to be able to see that, but there wasn't a lot of queerness in those stories either.
There was like one other queer Filipino poet that I would see.
So I had--I felt like I even had like this desire to start going up on stage because I didn't see queer Filipino poets, yeah.
Like, not a whole lot of them.
Rio: Like oral traditions in the Philippines, it's in our culture to tell stories.
However, documentation on the Filipino-American experience is limited.
Through his poems, plays, and scripts, Jaime documents his own story.
Jaime: And in that dark room, I was still coming to terms with all the undeveloped parts of me, my half-closeted, queer heart, my post-traumatically stressed brain, my phantom limbs that did not belong to me but to a first generation imposter enrolled at the same university I did not feel worthy of claiming myself an artist, of claiming myself love.
And so poetry became my self therapy.
It was from this that I learned how to write myself back into the frame.
I don't call myself a photographer anymore, but if there's anything that both photography and poetry have taught me it's how to be sensitive to the light, how to fix myself stable with the right love and support, how to develop a negative into a positive so as to see and to speak the big picture.
Thank you all.
Everyone, have a great night.
♪ Every time I'm away from you I'm counting ♪ ♪ minutes till I get back in your arms.
♪ ♪ This bed feels endless when you're around.
♪ ♪ I always want more.
♪ ♪ You complete my galaxy.
♪ ♪ You're a star.
♪ ♪ I feel so close to you even when you're far away.
♪ announcer: Support for this program comes from the KPBS Explore Local Content Fund, supporting new ideas and programs for San Diego.
♪ Keeping to my senses.
♪ ♪ Giving you moments you would cherish.
♪ ♪ Hold you close.
♪♪
Out of the Boondocks is a local public television program presented by KPBS