(ominous music) (ominous music) (man whimpering) - Oh my god, it's you.

Come on, it's me.

Derek.

You know me.

- Give it to me.

I must have it.

- No.

I'll never tell you where it is, never.

You'll have to kill me first.

As you wish.

(energetic rock music) (Derek screaming) (lively music) ♪ One, two, three, hit it ♪ (upbeat music) - I'm sorry to be so forward, love.

You're a very handsome woman.

The way your hair grows out of your skull like that, it's magical.

(upbeat music) - Hi, excuse me.

I couldn't help but notice you from across the fields.

Can I take you on a date, and maybe more?

- I'm sorry, I'm talking to this lovely lady.

- Oh, you lucky mare.

He likes you.

Maybe you should go on a date with him, then perhaps intercourse.

- I'm very clean.

I always use a loofah on my under-bits.

Although I must warn you, I do have a slight case of eczema, or as I like to call it, the snowfall of love.

- It's like Christmas.

- Christmas in your bedroom, more like.

When I pleasure a woman, I like to unwrap her like a present.

Baste her like a turkey.

And when I'm finished, she falls asleep satisfied, just like my Nana.

- Look, I sell jam here, nothing more.

So you can either put it in your bag, on your toast, or shove it up your ass.

I don't care, as long as I get my £3.50.

- I tried my best.

I was oozing seduction but she was immune.

- Yeah.

We'll just have to wait.

You keep your camera ready.

She's gonna do some adultery sooner or later.

I mean, just look at her.

You can tell.

Thirsty for flesh.

- Is that the woman you came to spy on?

Why was Terry harassing her?

Should we report him?

- Well yes, to the untrained eye it may look as though he was harassing her, Monica, but Terry was actually attempting to flirt with her.

Her husband's hired us to see if she's cheating on him.

Terry's our little honey trap.

- Right.

Well, I have to say, it's so brave of you to bet your whole future on this investigation business.

It's not making you any money whatsoever, but you're still plugging away, despite all the signs telling you to just pack it in.

Makes me proud to call you my sister.

- Aw, well, it's early days yet.

Look at Bill Gates.

He started Microsoft in a garage.

Look at him now.

Maybe you should get a job in a garage like him, you know, just to make some money.

And don't get me wrong, you can live with me rent free for as long as you want.

- It's only until the insurance money comes through on our coach, Monica.

If it comes through.

Oh, hey, can I interest you in my new perfume?

Made it myself, with oils from my own natural body scent.

It's called Me, by Monica.

That's me.

She loved that.

She'll definitely be back.

(upbeat music) (ominous music) (lighthearted music) - We need the money, Gem.

We've gotta get out of your sister's place.

I wake up every day smelling of Me.

It's like living in her armpit.

- We will, Terry, I promise you.

Soon we'll have our own place and I'll be stuck living somewhere that smells of your armpits.

- And then, Gem, we can afford the wedding of our dreams.

- Yeah, the wedding of your dreams.

- Yeah.

(upbeat music) (man gasping) (ominous music) - Porcelain rabbit figurine, 1981.

(gasping) Glazing in excellent condition.

You can sense the caress of the potter in each detail.

Haven't been touched like that in years.

- The red-eyed rabbit?

Oh, you're welcome to it.

I remember that from when I was a kid and from many a nightmare as an adult.

My mum got it from a potter she had a fling with, Eric something.

- Derek Castlewick.

Creator of the Little Timmy Tufty Tail collection.

He's had a fling with a lot of women, your mum's not special.

(giggling) It's wonderful.

How much do you want for it?

- Well.

- Don't know.

Couple of quid, I suppose.

- Terry, that's not how you car boot.

- Clearly you have no interest in pottery of this kind.

I can tell by the look on your face.

It's the same look my ex-wives all had.

(ominous music) - It's here.

I was right.

Derek gave it away to one of his girlfriends.

All these years tracking them and finally it's in my sights.

That idiot Carl is trying to buy it.

Get rid of him.

- Look, I need that for my collection.

A tenner.

- Tenner?

Aye, go on.

- 20.

- 20?

Aye, go on.

- 25.

- 40.

- 100!

- 100!

Aye, go on.

- But Terry, this is obviously a very valuable collector's item.

I'm afraid it's not for sale.

Terry, come on, pack up.

This little bunny's got a date with eBay.

- 150!

- 150?

Aye- - So unless there's anything else that you'd like?

(Carl gasping) (Terry breathing heavily) - I thought I was gonna black out then.

- So, I've completely sold out of Me.

You never told me business was so easy.

This is Clive.

We met by the knickknacks.

This is my sister Gemma.

- Hi there.

Have you smelled her Me?

It really grabs the nose, doesn't it?

I mean, one whiff and you just yearn to bury yourself in the source of the odor.

(Monica laughing) - Or move out.

- My my, what a delightful figurine.

(ominous music) Are you selling it?

Do you know, I've seen these before, collectors' items.

I could offer you say, 200 pounds?

- Oh aye, go on.

Sorry, it's... (phone ringing) Oh, it's our client.

Hello, Mr. Collins.

- Have you caught my Fiona fooling around yet?

Huh?

Telling me she's going out to confession every Thursday night.

We're not even Catholic.

- No, nothing yet.

But don't you worry.

Fiona can't hide from us for long.

We will keep our eyes permanently peeled.

The thing about Bremmer and Draper investigators is that we are highly observant.

Nothing will get past us.

Mark my words, we will catch them.

Okay, okay, goodbye, Mr. Collins.

(ominous music) (Carl screaming) - You can't do this to me.

- I can, I am, and I did.

Now you stay put while I keep an eye on Ginger and her boyfriend.

- Make sure they give it to you.

Either voluntarily or begging for their lives.

(laughing) (Carl screaming) - I wonder what you're really worth, you red-eyed git.

Clive said you were a collector's item.

Oh well, I guess there's only some things eBay will tell us.

- Gemma, if we're going to do this, there's something you should know about me.

I'm a big bad action boy.

- Yeah, you are.

I'm really proud of you for that.

- No, I meant I used to collect action men.

That's what we called ourselves, and I'm not ashamed of it.

Maybe a little bit.

I'm a collector, just like him.

I know this world, I know how obsessive these people can be.

We don't need eBay just yet.

There's another place, a dark place, in the corner of the Internet.

- [Computer] Cuddle Me Collectibles.

(giggling) - Right, I've posted it.

A member there says there's a whole range of rabbits.

99.

Mummy rabbits, daddy rabbits.

We've got the 100th.

The myxomatosis rabbit.

(dramatic music) I don't believe that.

We've got the only one ever made.

- Oh?

(lively music) - If you have a figurine or collectible you're thinking of selling, please consider us here at Macreadie's Auction House.

Maybe you've had it for years or stolen it from a dying relative.

- Bloody pop-ups.

Right, it says here, "In the end, potter Derek Castlewick deemed Maxy too offensive for sale."

Thought it might scare the kiddies.

- Yes, which it did, Derek.

You know, if he was alive, I've a good mind to go round and wet his bed.

- Hey, also says he died under suspicious circumstances.

- Mum said he died in Scarborough.

Same thing, I suppose.

- Right, we're off.

I'm going to teach my yoga class.

You should come, Gem.

Tone up some of those flappy bits.

- You're not a qualified yoga teacher, Monica.

You not a qualified anything, actually.

- I know, isn't it mad?

Just put an advert up and loads of people joined, mainly men.

I think they just come to watch me stretch, but it's money, isn't it?

- Will you be going to yoga, Clive, huh?

Do a bit of the old downward dog in with Monica?

Heart it's all the rage now.

- I never do it that way.

I enjoy eye contact.

I like to look into my man's soul as he reaches his pleasure peak.

And then I own him.

- Gemma.

(ominous music) - Don't hurt me.

- We'd have had that rabbit if it weren't for you.

- I wanted it for myself.

Why should you have everything?

- You have to take your punishment.

(Carl screaming) (thunder rumbling) - Eight grand?

There's a bloke here offering eight grand.

- Seriously?

- I'm so serious I'm getting shooting pains down my left arm.

- Oh, what's this?

The Bunnyman.

That's a daft name.

"Give me the rabbit now or I will send the Beast and you will regret it."

(gasping) A threat.

I wonder if he's got anything to do with Derek's suspicious circumstances.

- See, I told you.

I know someone who put an original My Little Pony on here, but then didn't wanna sell.

Woke up with its head in the bed.

Let's get rid of it, Gemma.

- Look, we need this money.

And, well, if we get a place of our own, we can do all sorts of things, like together things.

Make all the noises that we can't make here.

- All right, all right, all right, I've re-prioritized.

- Yes, okay, we need to celebrate.

You nip down to the off-license and get some drinks in.

- Fine, as there's no stopping you, look under the pampas grass.

- What's this?

- And if you want some crisps, look in my wellies.

I've got cheese and onion.

And because of the wellies, they're even cheesier.

(ominous music) - Terry.

- [Terry] What?

- There's someone in the room.

- Oh, it's bloody Monica sleep-walking.

(Gemma screaming) - I am the Beast.

Give me the rabbit, now.

- You're the woman from the car boot sale.

Are you lost, love?

- No, she's not, she's a figurine-obsessed psychopath who's come to finish us off.

- Don't be so silly.

(screaming) - Rabbit!

Rabbit!

- Terry, handle her!

- What?

I don't wanna seem too forward, but you're a very handsome woman.

(woman screaming) He wants the rabbit.

Give it to- (groaning) Oh, bugger, not again.

Oh.

- Bugger what?

- I think I've put my back out.

Been happening more and more these days.

Oh, just let me lie down flat and I'll be right back with you.

- Well, I think we defeated the Beast.

- Yeah.

(woman groaning) - Oh, you're joking.

Why did they have to send you?

- Probably 'cause you've created chaos yet again, Gemma.

- Oh, you're so smug, aren't you?

- Me, smug?

No.

I'm a proper policewoman, while you're playing at being a private investigator.

- God, Vicky, why do you always have to bring that attitude with you?

- Why are they so angry with each other?

Ooh, I'm the one in trouble, aren't I?

- She's her sister-in-law.

They don't get on.

- Oh.

- Gemma is what we call in the force a waste of space.

- Oh.

- Leave it.

- What's your name and why are you in Gemma's sister's house, where she lives rent-free, much like a parasite?

- Betty Jackson.

Oh, I think I might be in the wrong house.

I thought this was my house and the door was open so I just came inside, oh.

- Well, don't be fooled by her sweet demeanor.

She came here to kill us.

She attacked me with her cane.

- (laughing) My cane.

Oh, it does fly about a bit.

I've lost my coordination.

- Ow!

- Come on you, I'll help you home.

Let these two keep their dignity and get back to their sofa-bed.

- Oh, don't worry dear, I've had a fistful of morphine and it's kicking in.

Oh, I'll say my goodbyes then, Gemma.

See sense.

The Bunnyman will stop at nothing to get the rabbit.

Well, bye then.

Thanks for your patience.

(ominous music) (stately music) - Well, you've certainly come to the right place, Gemma.

And may I say how rare it is to see such a pristine figurine brought to me by such a pristine figure.

- Oh, thank you.

Brushed my hair and my teeth.

- And what a marvelous job you did of both.

(both laughing) This, um...

This rabbit is worth a considerable amount.

- Yes.

Seems to be connected to a Bunnyman.

- Oh, him.

He's harassed me for years.

I have letter after letter from him.

Always asking if I'd found Maxy.

Threatening me because he didn't believe I hadn't.

He's quite mad.

- Well, my partner told me the collecting world is quite odd.

- Partner?

- In my investigation agency, it's.

- Fascinating.

I suppose you jet around the world, catching the bad guys and righting wrongs, eh?

- Something very like that, yeah.

(energetic music) - Come on, Fiona, do something, or at least someone.

(phone buzzing) Hello, yeah, Mr. Collins.

- Have you got anything for me yet?

- No, sorry.

No suspicious activity as of yet.

- To be honest, I'm thinking of knocking this on the head.

- No, don't worry.

I'm watching her like a hawk.

- You're not coming up with anything.

- Now, you entrusted this to us, the professionals.

Let us use our specialized skill set to help you.

It's a skill set based on watching hours of YouTube videos.

And mark my words, I am watching every move she makes.

Bugger.

- The Bunnyman is not unique.

Collectors are an obsessive lot, Gemma.

Here's one of the most famous of the bunny brigade, Jasper Donningburgh.

Sadly his collecting obsession consumed him.

His quest to find the final rabbit in the series became too much for him.

He took his own life.

(gun firing) - That's so sad.

Why is he wearing a gas mask?

Ah, Jasper suffered from an hereditary condition.

Trimethylaminuria, also known as fish odor syndrome.

- He smelled of fish?

- Apparently, only when he felt nervous or excited.

- Better not go on a roller-coaster with him then, eh?

Got you.

(both laughing) Clive, hello.

Do you work here?

- Clive does all our spreadsheets.

You two know each other?

- He's dating my sister.

- Oh, really, Clive?

Well, if she's as beautiful and attractive as you, Gemma, he's a very lucky man.

- Oh, you're making me blush.

And feel really, really good about myself.

- Nice to unexpectedly see you.

- Nice to unexpectedly see you.

(Gemma sniffing) - I'm sorry to be so forward, Gemma, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't offer my services.

We'd love to auction your rabbit here.

- Yes.

That would make the Bunnyman come to us.

I mean, obviously the money is exciting and everything, but you know, drama.

- Collectors from all over the world will come to you for this piece.

You're looking at at least half a million pounds.

♪ Joy to the world ♪ ♪ The lord is come ♪ - Half a million pounds?

This is it.

Gemma, we've spent our entire lives scrabbling to get out of the toilet.

Just look at us now.

We're sitting on the rim picking poo out of our fingernails.

And hey, listen, we're not gonna waste it.

Oh no, we're gonna invest it wisely.

- I'll be honest, I wasn't convinced before, but this is the best investment we'll ever make.

(laid-back music) - We're classy, Gemma.

It's the kind of people we are.

Wow.

When we sell the rabbit, I'm thinking I might get myself an owl for this arm.

- Oh yeah.

- Imagine walking down the aisle towards me and an owl, majestic.

- I didn't even want a big wedding at first.

I think as many people as possible need to see me wearing this.

Our Vicky's jaw is gonna drop when she sees this dress.

- I think a lot of people are gonna have a substantial reaction to seeing you in that dress, babe.

(Gemma sighing) Are you gonna try on that other dress?

The woman said it was bigger, so it'll be even classier.

- All right, bring it on.

(laid-back music) (Gemma screaming) - Give me the rabbit.

- Terry, Bunnyman, Bunnyman.

- Give me the rabbit or die.

- Out the back.

Grab the bag!

It's got the bloody rabbit in it!

(ominous music) - Terry!

- Oh, I've got it, I've got it.

It's in here, isn't it?

- Wait, give it back.

- No, I'm keeping it.

- Remember our deal, Carl.

This could end very badly for you.

Don't throw your life away.

- Joke's on you, Betty.

I haven't even got a life.

I did it, I did it.

It's finally mine.

(tires screeching) - I'm fine, not a mark on me.

(suspenseful music) - Everything's all right.

I've saved it.

- Good to know where I stand in the grand scheme of things.

(ominous music) (police radio chattering) - [Police] Yeah, one body, Sarge.

Absolutely splattered, to be honest.

Nearly put me off my dinner.

- He was on 84 rabbits.

Thought he could get up to the big numbers.

They all do.

- How did you know we were here?

Did you follow us?

- Yeah.

Bunnyman told me to follow you.

And then we set this up.

You don't fancy just giving it to us, do you?

- No.

- Worth a try.

But look, you can't tell the police.

If you do, they'll take the rabbit, impound it as evidence.

And then we'll all be in danger.

Save the rabbit and you'll save yourselves.

I'm getting out of this game.

It's too cutthroat.

I'm going back to contract killing, which is still cutting throats, but you know, there's a level of honesty in it.

- Yeah, I can imagine.

- Fancy dress, is it, Gemma?

What have you come as?

- Someone in a strong relationship who's not afraid to express her love.

I can see you're still in character as the miserable old witch.

- I'm a police officer.

Misery is part of the job.

Speaking of which, I sincerely hope you three being here is just a coincidence.

Last time I saw you all, Gemma was accusing you of breaking and entering.

- Water under the bridge.

We've sort of befriended Betty here.

She came to help us get fitted for the wedding.

Our wedding's gonna be great.

Like yours, but with less of a sense of my brother making a massive mistake.

- And an owl.

- Stay there, I'll be wanting statements from all of you.

(lively music) - Your highness, it's me.

I wanted you to know an incredibly rare piece has just come up, Maxy.

Yes, the Maxy.

The one and only.

- So that's it.

The bunny is worth a fortune, there's a psycho called the Bunnyman who's after us for it, and we're going undercover at the auction tomorrow to catch him.

(Terry snapping) (mellow music) - Do you think it's going in?

She's not registering.

- No, no no no no, I can hear you.

I'm just trynna figure out how any of this is about me.

- Well, there's something I need to tell you.

Your Clive's involved.

- Clive?

How?

- He works at the auction house.

Oh, but he didn't tell me that.

I found that out through detection work.

Not just by bumping into him there.

- Right then, well, I'm obviously coming to the auction with you then.

- No, Gemma, she's not coming with us.

I view time risking my life chasing a psychopath as special calm time I enjoy away from Monica.

No offense.

- Oh, offense taken.

You might need backup.

- She's right.

Or an annoying distraction.

- Ooh, exciting!

And we're gonna have to dress the part, okay?

- Oh, yes.

- You're my sister.

I'm not having anyone think you are less of a woman just because they can see your squat little legs, all right?

(laid-back music) - Don't look.

- So that's it.

Don't suppose you need a written resignation, do you?

Great, well, no hard feelings then.

Standard procedure, I'll pick up my holiday pay later.

You don't follow me, I won't slit your throat in your sleep.

- You're going nowhere.

The job's not complete.

Nobody walks away from me.

- I think you're forgetting who you're talking to here.

I am the Beast and I was killing people while you were still gnawing on your mama's- (Bunnyman laughing) (phone ringing) (energetic music) (ominous music) - Gemma, I'm gonna tell myself off because I didn't think you had the hips for that dress.

But look at you.

You've managed to wriggle your way into it.

You're a little queen.

- Look, why do I have to go undercover as a waiter?

- Because I'm more believable as a wealthy lady whose husband has died, leaving her his estate and who now spends her time collecting rabbits and entertaining her string of exotic lovers.

- I'm not sure I'm happy with how much you've thought this through, Gemma.

- And I am her sister with a much longer string of more exotic bed companions.

- Right, so the Bunnyman is gonna make a move, so we need to be ready for anything.

Terry, you go outside and mingle with the guests.

Once any of us find out who the Bunnyman really is, he's mine.

- Well, as long as he doesn't nick it, and the check clears, we're golden.

Gemma, we're gonna have flamingos at our wedding.

During the service and possibly also as a starter.

- Oh, Christ, Gemma.

- We won't do that.

- [Crowd] Rabbit, rabbit.

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit.

(dramatic music) (gong ringing) (crowd clapping) - What's with the costumes?

Is this some sort of sex party or something?

- No, they're not like this.

They're always indoors.

- This is how the figurine fraternity do it when they auction something at this level.

This way, none of them will ever know who has the full collection.

It could be very dangerous for whoever has them all.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to a very special evening in the collectibles world.

Tonight, we will auction off a unique piece in the Timmy Tufty Tales series, Maxy, the myxomatosis rabbit, the 100th and final rabbit in the collection.

(crowd clapping) None of which would be possible without its owner, the beautiful Lady Cilla De Black.

- Bonjour.

- And her sister.

- Lady Pam au Raisin.

(crowd clapping) - Now, if you'll follow me, we can start the auction.

(crowd clapping) (dramatic orchestral music) - [Crowd] Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit.

- Ooh.

- The rabbit is in excellent condition.

The glazing is impeccable and as with all items sold here at- - Do you, er, fancy a tipple?

- Should you wish to have your items delivered- - Rabbit, eh?

I'm more a big bad action boy myself.

You know, the old action man game.

Intense industry.

I should know, I tried to sell an action man once, they wanted his service record.

I will leave you to enjoy your beverage.

- Shall we start the bidding at, say, 100,000 pounds?

- Yes, get it!

- Shh!

- Is that our first bid?

- No, sorry.

I was just excited about giving out the champagne.

I'm more of a cider man, you see.

And pickled onions.

Clive?

- Where were we?

Oh yes, 100,000 pounds.

- 100,000.

- 150.

- 250.

- 300.

- Come on then, show yourself, you lop-eared bugger.

- Just be patient, Monica.

He'll make a mistake, then he's ours.

- 550.

- 600,000.

- Sweet Mary.

Lord, carry me home.

(Gemma gasping) - 650,000.

- Yes.

- 650.

- Can I top you up in a minute?

Just 'cause I'm in the process of watching my life change in ways I don't really deserve.

- [Macreadie] 650, 000 pounds, ladies and gentlemen.

- Or, you know, in hindsight, it would be a shame to leave your patch.

Okay, mate.

Keep bidding, keep bidding.

Don't mind me.

- Pick a number, ladies and gentlemen.

Fulfill a dream.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I really need some more champagne.

- Not now, man, can't you see what's happening?

The auction has come alive.

700!

For god's sake.

Look out the back, you idiot.

(ominous music) Now, where were we?

Can you smell fish?

- 700,000.

(ominous music) - You're Jasper Donningburgh's son.

You're a very clever girl, Gemma.

Yes, I am.

Gemma is right.

I was raised here in this auction house by my stepfather, Macreadie.

But I am Jacob Donningburgh.

- But you're more than that.

You're the Bunnyman.

- Right again.

You've got a brilliant mind.

I had planned my finale for a little later, but maybe no time like the present is the way to go.

(ominous music) Look at me, all of you!

All I wanted in my life was to complete my father's collection.

I'm a good boy!

But these rabbits are cursed.

I've sent myself mad.

I've become a monster just like Daddy.

(sobbing) Just like all of you.

Think about how much you've ruined your own family's lives trying to achieve this, just like me.

Think about how your children have suffered as you ignored them to chase this pointless little bug-eyed bunny.

The things I've done to get this would shock the devil himself.

(laughing) I killed Derek to find out where Maxy was.

But he wouldn't tell.

- Oh, I'd have kept that to myself.

- And Betty is dead in the cellar.

- Oh, now is definitely the time to shut up.

- And now, for the final piece of the puzzle.

(ominous music) Once this rabbit is destroyed, it's all over.

None of you will have the complete collection, and you can go back to your families and apologize for what you've put them through.

- Jacob, no.

- We don't care about your pathetic life.

Enough of this.

I shall bid a million pounds sterling.

- Oh, please, Jacob, this could bring such happiness to two, and I'm not even exaggerating, incredibly unlucky people.

- Sorry Gemma, but you won't be catching it this time.

- Oh no, no, no!

No!

(ceramic clattering) It's all right.

It's all right, everyone.

I'm still rich.

- Panic over.

I found the fizzy stuff.

(ceramic shattering) - Terry, no!

(crowd groaning) - Yes, Terry.

Yes.

(laughing) (Gemma whimpering) (Jacob groaning) - Consider this my resignation.

(Jacob gasping) - Clive, did you know about all this?

- He's my husband.

He's my life.

- Your life?

What about me?

- I was using you to get to the rabbit, you stupid girl.

Be still, my love.

Hop, hop, hop into the darkness.

(Jacob gasping) (somber music) - Terry, what did you do to the rabbit?

- Look, I know there's gonna be a lot of anger and blame, but one day, Gemma, I promise you, one day I will find a way to make out this wasn't my fault.

(somber music) - Well, well, well.

Looks like the police force needed the lowly investigators after all.

For all your snide little comments, I was the one who found out who the culprit was.

- By all accounts, it was 20 seconds before he just told everybody who he was, Sherlock.

- Well, at least I didn't have his main henchwoman in my sights and then just let her go.

Which led to someone dying.

- Should we call it a draw?

- Fair enough.

- Sunday dinner at two?

- See you there.

- Do you know what the real shame is?

- What's that?

- It's Wednesday.

You know what we usually do on a Wednesday night?

- You've had a bath, I've had a bath, with my peach scrub.

- We can't.

- Well, I was thinking, if we were really really quiet, then we could.

We wouldn't wake anyone up.

- Oh, don't mind me, love.

If I haven't got my readers on, I can't see a bloody thing.

You two crack on.

You're kind enough to let me lie low here, so I don't mind listening to you get jiggy with it.

- Oh.

No.

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)