(wind blowing) (Melissa panting) - This is a good idea.

It's 40.4 to 40.7 Fahrenheit.

Ooh.

- [woman] Now it's reading at 39.6.

- This is a good idea.

Good idea.

Good idea.

Good idea.

(gentle serene music) The first time I said I was gonna swim in cold water, they said I was crazy, but crazy in a, I'm glad she's having fun type way.

And then there's the next level cold swimming, ice swimming, the level of when you're being called crazy intensifies almost to a, we actually might be a little concerned.

It seems like there's always the question of you must be doing it because, and there's an underlying reason.

There has to be an underlying reason.

No normal person would do this type thing without an underlying reason.

Nobody, if you ask anybody in high school or college that I swam with in a million years would ever have thought Melissa Kegler was gonna be the one to swim the English Channel.

She's not quick enough.

She doesn't have great technique.

She's very average.

It's just not gonna happen.

And I found a way to do it.

- [Man] There she is, plugging away, looking good.

- [Man] Running well, Melissa, power on, power on.

(cheering) - [Group] You did it, you did it, baby.

- However, I know that I'm never gonna have the fastest time.

I'm not competitive in that space.

But cold is something that really intrigues me.

I heard about the ice mile, water that is below five degrees Celsius, and I thought, you know, I think I can do that.

I did the ice mile last year, and I remember it wasn't as bad as what I thought it was, and I want to do it again.

I wanna do it again and I wanna see if I could do more than a mile.

No American has ever done a sanctioned IISA Ice 2.2k.

I think I can do it and I wanna do it this season.

However, with ice swimming, there's gonna be a point where you can't go any further because you're gonna die.

(Melissa panting) (exaggerated shivering) (ship horn blaring) I remember the first day I went to Alki, just looking at that going, this is exactly what I wanna do.

Good enough.

- So you're gonna go that direction, right?

All right, we'll do that.

- And it was just so different.

It was so cold.

I knew it was special even before I got in.

- You know, I've watched this group really grow and at first the tough thing for the entire group was to swim without a wetsuit, and then the next thing was to swim, you know, for 10 or 20 minutes without a wetsuit.

Now it's become swimming to Bremerton without, you know, without a wetsuit.

We all push each other, try to do things that are a little tougher each year.

And so, I'm not surprised she's trying to do a 2K ice swim.

- [Melissa] The biggest danger in ice swimming is not necessarily what happens during your swim, but the recovering rewarming process afterwards when your blood vessels open and all that pooled blood from your fingers and your feet and your peripherals start to move into the core of your body.

- It'll go away in a little bit there.

- [Melissa] I know people have gone into very, very advanced hypothermia where they've had to go to the hospital where they're like on the brink of cardiac arrest and that's scary 'cause I don't want to be in that state.

I also know that there may be a day I won't be in control of it, and that's scary for me a little bit.

Oh, that's so good.

But even though it's scary, it's just something I know I can do more, and I just wanna see, I wanna see what happens.

(knocking on vehicle window) This goes out to Tinkham and then we'll go left.

Getting the body to adapt to the cold is really difficult here because the water just doesn't get cold enough.

What I am experimenting with is doing hike-in alpine swims, specifically for areas that have very cold water early season and late season.

I am concerned about being far away from emergency.

If something did happen and I called on the emergency beacon, it could be hours before somebody gets there.

- Just do one of them on Fahrenheit so I know.

- [Man] 7.7 Celsius or 46 Fahrenheit.

- I do wanna see how far I can push myself because I wanna see what my personal boundaries are.

My intention is to reach the edge of those, 'cause I know the only way to get to the next comfort zone is to get to the edge, find the edge, and then figure out a way to push beyond it.

(inflating safety device) If I'm only going in for 10 minutes, those 10 minutes just seem like an eternity.

Okay.

(water sloshing) This safety buoy that a lot of swimmers use for visibility, for me in the mountains, if something goes wrong, it's a visibility aid for rescuers so that they can find my body for my family.

(shuddering) Whoo, okay.

My entire life I wanted to grow up and get married and be a mom and have kids, and that all went out the window when I started swimming.

You really think about it, these endurance sports are really selfish activities.

Glen walked into my life and his selfish hobby also happened to be swimming.

So it's, we can each be selfish and spend time together at the same time.

(laughing) The water to me, before I started swimming was, it's an ocean, oh, I'm gonna go swim in the ocean.

The more I swam, the more I realized you can go swimming, you can see things and then you can really see things.

Wow, that's a, it's a skate fish or a green eel, or it's a sea urchin, or it's, you know, something new that I haven't seen before.

I feel like I can talk to the water and I feel like the water responds.

I feel like the animals respond.

The magic of wondering and the magic of learning and the magic of really seeing all this stuff overcomes any fear, and I feel like if I trust what the water's telling me to do or to not to do, then it will keep me safe.

If there was an award for swimming in the most beautiful area, I would absolutely want to seek that out.

This is definitely, this is where it's at.

(waves crashing) - Do you see those waves out there?

- Those are big waves.

(coffee dispenser hissing) (dishes clattering) Okay.

(waves crashing) - We can do it.

- We can do this.

- We can do it.

This is a good idea, right?

- Yeah.

- Bye mommy.

- Love you.

- Bye mommy.

(laughing) - Bad idea.

Bad idea.

(laughing) - So I was visiting my in-laws.

There was ice at the edge of the lake.

Six and a half minutes that I swam, it was fine, you know, I mean, it was so fun.

I warmed up, but my thumb and my ring finger on this hand, lost the feeling in them for like six and a half weeks.

My dad's a doctor.

He's like, oh yeah, that happens to so many people, and I'm like, what, why don't people talk about that?

And you start to worry about other things that can happen.

Like there's swimming induced pulmonary edema, fluid in the lungs, cardiac events that can happen.

Hypothermia is like so quiet.

It is so like silent.

You're just like, is this person rude?

What's going on?

Like, why won't they answer any of my questions?

They're gone.

And I think understanding what it can look like when somebody isn't going to be doing great afterwards, can't talk, can't move, can't dress themselves, is terrifying really?

Is it worth it to finish a big swim if this person might not be okay.

- [Man] We're gonna do four 200s.

Let's leave on the 45.

All right, tight send off.

Yeah, pick it up on number two with descending, remember?

Good Derek, you've got it?

Okay, two one up.

- We've been working with athletes for an awful long time, so you get a good sense as to not just their drive mentally, but their physical makeup.

Because at the end of the day, you can be the toughest person in the world, but the endurance to swim 20 miles, it comes through tough, hard yards and lots of them.

(speaking faintly off mic) Some people, they hit a point where they're like, it's just too cold.

Your muscles essentially cease to work.

That can be catastrophic for someone that has some degree of acclimation, they think they're good, you know, and then they get X far out and they're suddenly like, oh, I can't clear the water with my arm, I can't swim.

Then you're in big trouble.

If there's any concerns for me right now, it's just, she needs to be much more focused on getting her body ready for that level of cold exposure, because things can go wrong quite rapidly with, you know, unconsciousness would be the top of the list.

I think.

(ice crunching) (ice clattering) - This is a swimsuit wall.

So today we are going to wear the donut suit.

I've tried music before, but I don't like, I don't like music when I do it.

So I just sit and enjoy the ambience of being frozen outside.

Squirrel-squirrels, come on?

(clicking mouth) Up there, curly, up there.

Curly up.

I've heard so many people say the ice mile's all mental.

It's actually not all mental.

If you keep going, my body temperature will eventually become the same temperature as the water.

Okay, that's it.

(shivering) Mother nature is the ultimate blocker.

And no matter how much weight somebody gains, no matter how much body fat they have, it's gonna come to a limit.

I think about, oh my gosh, maybe, maybe I am crazy, (laughing) I don't know.

But the end result of somebody who swims too long is always death.

I think we all grow up, myself included, learning that you don't swim alone.

But the reality of some of the longer events is that you are swimming alone.

I also believe it's extremely important to be comfortable swimming alone.

Personally, I find swimming alone very peaceful and meditative to myself.

It's one of my favorite things about the water, is the silence and the quiet.

You put your head in and you can't hear a single thing.

It's wonderful.

That's so pretty.

I've gotten comfortable swimming alone.

I know my routes that are very safe for me.

That doesn't mean they're 100% safe.

You can ever swim and be 100% safe, but swimming alone is essential.

Otherwise, you know, you're never gonna achieve what you want to.

I know I don't look like a stereotypical athlete that you see in the magazines.

Two of the cream-filled ones.

- [Clerk] Would you like a box or a bag?

- A box, please.

Every time I've lost weight, I really enjoy the way I look in a pair of jeans or the aesthetics of how my body looks.

But when I get in the water, I can't be in there as long.

And for me not being able to stay in the water and look at a fish or look at a sea lion, it's not worth it to me.

It's also a happiness factor.

I don't like being hungry.

That's all there is to it.

(gentle uplifting music) Okay, another lovely day.

I see that big one down there.

- There's so much to enjoy in the water.

It's like a playground.

It's powerful to feel what your body can do.

It's just beauty above the water, below the water.

The cold can feel like a hug, weirdly, sometimes, you know.

Like I trust the water around me.

Just recognizing your limits and swimming within them and assessing for what the conditions are, making sure that everything is, that you're gonna live to swim another day.

There's always another day.

(gulls calling) - I remember the very first day, you know, I took my shirt off and I was in a two piece.

It took probably 30 minutes, but it was three of us and we just said we're gonna, we're gonna wear a two piece swimsuit this day.

And it was terrifying to just be on a beach in public in a two piece swimsuit cuz you think of, everybody's looking at you, they're gonna judge you.

It's gonna be great.

(laughing) And I still have hard days, but then two pieces got smaller because I realized the more I felt the water on my body, the better connection I felt.

Definitely the water wants to embrace who you are as you are.

And through this entire process of really seeing all this happen is where I gain confidence.

And this is the body that gives me that, so this is the one I keep.

So the IISA is the International Ice Swimming Association and it is the sanctioning body that governs and ratifies all ice swims.

Swimmers like Lynn Cox have really broken barriers in open water swimming.

The IISA was formed about 10 ish years ago and she did her swims before that so they weren't observed under IISA rules.

And it's a choice that I choose to swim within that set of rules.

It's a challenge for me to also complete a swim within a set of rules because there's some major milestones that you need aside from the actual physical training.

The medical and the qualifying swim are the two big ones.

I had a new job this year, new insurance, new physician.

I went in.

We started talking about, you know, just the general stuff taking, you know, my regular vitals, which were good.

And then the subject of weight came up.

(gentle piano music) Okay, quick check before they change.

43 on the dot.

He looked at my weight and he looked at my BMI and said, I don't think you should swim without doing additional cardiac and stress tests because your weight and your obesity with your high cholesterol count puts you at a very high risk for a significant cardiac event.

You're just too fat to swim.

His proposal was that I should lose approximately 60 pounds, go on the Mediterranean diet before he would continue with the medical form.

Oh, the feet hurt.

Oh, I can feel the, the blood going back in.

The self-doubt creeps in.

I'm stupid.

What am I doing?

I've never been a good swimmer.

Maybe I'm really not gonna make it.

Maybe I'm not good enough.

Is this just the universe telling me it's not meant to be this year?

(waves crashing) It's like, this is the worst day I've seen in years.

Okay, well.

- I'm gonna drive over to Constellation, and see what's going on over there.

- Jerome and I stood forever just watching the water, and while I thought in my head I could do it, I would've had to dart in and out of all the debris and that would've made it more challenging, cause there's more time I'm in the water.

I think I could do the swim today, but I couldn't concentrate on it.

And not being able to concentrate would be a not-smart move.

Yeah, I'm really disappointed because this cold drop is exactly what we don't get in Seattle and you can see it's here.

And so this is like priming up to be honestly the time to do it within the next two weeks.

And so the fact that, the fact that I can't get the one thing I really need to do to swim is extremely disappointing.

- Let's be frank about Melissa's appearance.

You know, she doesn't come across as the most fit person because she's carrying extra weight.

She would fit the description of somebody who's technically obese by numbers.

Most physicians aren't trained to understand open cold water swimming at all.

We have no idea.

And this actually hasn't been well studied and documented, but knowing what I know about Melissa's story and understanding what I know now about open water swimming, she's actually in a fantastic position.

She's been doing this sport for a long time, so she's well acclimated and her size actually works in her favor.

You know, she has a sense of buoyancy because of her weight and she also has a sense of thermal protection.

The sea lion, the seal, you know, you look at these mammals, there's an advantage to carrying extra weight, but can her body withstand cold for that period of time?

You know, that's the dangers.

How do you check in with somebody who's in the water, you know, and they're pushing themselves and they're determined and they have the passion to finish it, but their body's saying, you need to stop.

How do I know if she's in trouble or how does she know if she's in trouble or not?

How are we gonna communicate?

- The colder it gets, you have to know yourself so well to say, Melissa, you're done.

Otherwise you cross into that zone of death.

Honestly, I could see myself wanting to see if I have the self-control to stop.

(speaking faintly off mic) What's the temperature?

- 7.5.

- So I measured the route yesterday.

I'm gonna go to the second stairs.

I mean, I don't wanna have to come back a third time and try.

There we go.

- No, we don't want that.

- 7:22.

I will start this once I get in there.

- [Man] Okay, I'll be the timer.

- Oh, I hate when you put sugar in it.

Ugh.

- [Man] Come on, you've done this before.

- I know, just hurts.

It hurts every time.

- [Man] Watch will start when you start.

- To resolve this, I am going to go back to my old doctor who knows my history as an athlete.

(upbeat music) I need to get a second opinion on this.

They don't take my insurance, I'm just gonna pay it.

I understand my body, I understand sport, I understand the risks.

I understand that I could have a major cardiac event during the swim.

Also, I feel like I've never been in better shape for anything than for this attempt.

I need this swim to now be more than just about the swim.

I can't stand the idea of somebody wanting to achieve something and being blocked like the way I was.

And I am happy to say it's signed off.

Finally now, after all of that, the form is signed off.

Now I just have to plan my swim.

The only unfortunate part is it's warming up now.

One of our swimmers, Kirby, he lives down on Lake Desire a little bit more south of Seattle.

He thinks his lake gets cold enough, so we're just gonna have to see.

- Yeah, I can't feel my fingertips.

Well, I can feel 'em, they hurt.

- You're merely in for 50 minutes.

It's like your fingertips are screaming.

(panting) - It's 2.5K.

So that's a good, that's a really good swim.

Ouch, the feet, my feet hurt so bad.

Okay, I think I'm good.

- Four, four, four, eight, four, yeah, everything's under five.

Okay, we're ready.

To have air temperature that's 50 degrees, water temperature that is just a smidgen under five, and maybe sunshine is slight shot of a miracle.

So now it's just a question of do I wait to, do I go Friday morning or wait till Saturday?

It's gonna happen.

It is happening.

(tense upbeat music) - [Woman] All right, so that is the one end of the course.

She comes past the dock and goes to that float anchored over there.

And it's actually four times around.

That will make her the distance holder in the United States for cold water swimming.

So we have three thermometers, well within range.

- This is gonna be the first time for a lot of people seeing somebody go into hypothermic shock and I don't want anyone to get nervous or freak out because they don't understand that it's normal, knock on wood, depending, everything goes well.

- I'm Rebecca.

- [Man] Rebecca, okay.

- I'm Melissa's mom.

(speaking faintly off mic) - I was inside finishing up my work calls.

Nothing like sandwiching a record breaking swim on your lunch break on a Friday.

- Welcome everybody.

Ice swims are a dicey kind of sport to be involved with and I think you all know that.

At any point we can end the swim if we have any clue that there is a compromised safety on Melissa.

Stroke count.

Stacy, her stroke count is roughly 52 ish per minute.

Just start it, count how many strokes in at the one minute mark, and then let me know what that is.

If there's a lot of change in her stroke count, if it drops down even down to like 45 or 44, we need to consider whether it is appropriate to keep going.

Every time she comes past the dock, if she says, I'm okay, everything is cool.

If she says, (slurring) I'm okay, all right, it's still legible, it's slurred, right, because that's what cold water will do and she's fine.

If I ask her and it comes out like, (warbling) and it's totally illegible, we're done.

(speaking faintly off mic) - Okay, so before we start, I just wanna say thank you guys for coming.

I am excited and also terrified.

I will be, you know, hypothermic getting out.

It's not gonna be an if, I will be.

So just be prepared for that and hope nothing bad happens today.

So it's time.

Hopefully, see you guys back in about 50 minutes.

- We are good to roll.

I'm ready.

- All right girl, you got this?

- Oh man, okay.

Okay, that hurts.

Ready?

Yeah, soon as I let go.

Just gonna stand here just for a second.

(upbeat music) After I took a first few strokes, I thought, oh my gosh, what am I doing?

This is a potentially really bad idea and it's really cold.

And I remember turning to Glen and just saying, do not leave me in this lake.

Thankfully the only time that I saw a swimmer die, this guy was just super, super pale.

- Nice and steady.

- He was just standing there waiting for his turn in the start line and he just collapsed behind the start block.

You hear about people in triathlons, usually one person a year that died before both my Catalina and English channel swim.

There was a person that died within a week or two before I swam those.

So you hear about these stories, I saw it happen to somebody and then the reality of it is I'm putting myself in the situation now.

I could be that next news story.

I'm good.

- Alright, thank you.

- [Melissa] Going on the second lap, that's kind of when I started to notice the effects of the cold water.

So I could feel my jaws tightening.

I could feel my tongue going numb, and sometimes I'll like bite my tongue while I swim just to test do I feel myself biting my tongue.

And then going to the third lap is when I think the classic signs of an ice swim for me at least really kicked in.

I felt really sick to my stomach on the third lap.

I'm numb.

Alright, I'm going but I'm numb.

- [Man] Alright, you're doing it.

You're doing it, halfway there.

(cheering) - It's a clear case.

- As I'm rounding that final turn for the third lap, I come in to check in and that's where the decision happens.

Do I or do I not go for the fourth?

Time?

- [Woman] 54.

- [Woman] Okay, tell me, ready, on yours marks, get set, go.

- Do I go for the fourth?

Do I not go for the fourth?

Do I feel okay?

Do I not feel okay?

I feel sick.

- [Woman] Uh oh.

- I'm gonna go.

- All right.

- You're looking great.

You're looking strong.

- Okay, start over.

- Yeah.

- How much longer is.

(overlapping discussion) One, two, three, go.

- About the same?

- Yeah, 56.

- 56, amazing.

If she's feeling sick, I'm just really concerned.

I feel sick is not something that she would give into, but it's something the rest of us have to be aware of.

- [Melissa] And then I noticed too, my mind wasn't completely there.

I was kind of in a fog.

- Three and a half.

- [Melissa] Yeah, long stretch, right?

- [Melissa] I started to think of really weird things.

- One, two, oh stop.

One, two, three, go.

- I remember telling myself over and over again, I need to remember to tell Will, who is my doctor, I don't think I'm remembering things.

But then you go into the conversation of, I am remembering to tell him.

So that actually means I am remembering something.

So am I really remembering things or am I not?

I'm not really sure.

I want a chicken sandwich.

- [Man] You got this.

Come on.

- Keep your focus.

Keep your focus.

- Why am I thinking about chicken sandwiches?

The next thing I really remember is Glen saying.

- [Glen] 2.2, you made it.

Go back to the dock.

You made it, 2.2 (speaking faintly) - [Melissa] I'm cold.

- [Woman] You're amazing.

- [Woman] As soon as you-- - Coming up for landing.

- Say when.

- [Woman] When.

- Perfect.

- I got the number.

It's okay.

- [Man] Need help to stand up.

- Yep.

(speaking faintly off mic) If I wasn't so cold, I'd cry.

- [Woman] Don't cry.

- You never dropped below 54 stroke rate the entire time.

(uplifting music) (speaking faintly) - [Man] Do you know who you are?

You know where you are, dear.

- In Kirby's house.

- [Man] Thank you.

- You are so-- (overlapping discussion) (laughing) (speaking faintly) - [Woman] Can I give you my glass.

(shivering) (overlapping discussion) - [Melissa] I was on schedule.

- [Woman] Yeah, you like killed it.

- [Woman] Full belch.

- Oh the blood.

- Yeah, weird phenomena.

- You're so warm.

(overlapping discussion) - I don't think I wanted do this again next year.

(laughing) (overlapping discussion) Before swimming.

I wasn't using my body for any purpose, I was just in it.

It took me a lot of years to realize that how I'm built is the way I'm supposed to be for these goals that I never knew that I had.

You know, your body is the one body that you're given and you have a talent to do something with it.

Mine happens to be ice swimming.

It gave me this extra that put everything into perspective.

(upbeat music) I have a body that I'm actually doing something with now.

It doesn't matter, you know, the size that it is.

And now that I am able to use what I have and move and do something I love with what I'm given that I can't buy in stores, it kind of takes my breath away.

(upbeat violin music) (seal snorting) Every time I go in the water, I tell it, I love you, and that feeling builds and it just hasn't gone away.

(gentle music)