>> Mark: SO I HAD TO BUY SOME NEW GLASSES.

I HAVE WORN GLASSES FOREVER.

I STARTED IN JUNIOR HIGH, PRIME GETTING-BEAT-UP TIME.

AT FIRST I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A BLURRY BLACKBOARD.

AND TEACHER.

AND ALL MY FRIENDS.

WHEN YOU GET GLASSES AS A KID, YOU'RE BOUND TO LOSE THEM A FEW TIMES.

THE ONES YOU DON'T LOSE, YOU BREAK.

"GOOD NEWS, MOM - I DIDN'T LOSE MY GLASSES TODAY.

CAN WE GO TO THE EYE STORE?

WHAT?

I WAS JUST BOUNCING A SOCCER BALL ON MY FACE!"

SO I WENT TO THE EYE DOCTOR, AND THEY START QUIZZING ME.

"WHICH IS BETTER, A OR B?

NOW, OR NOW?"

REALLY, A PRESCRIPTION ITEM SHOULDN'T DEPEND ON YOU PASSING A QUIZ.

YOU GET IT WRONG AND SPEND THE NEXT YEAR WALKING INTO LAMP POSTS.

"SHOULD WE TAKE OUT YOUR APPENDIX OR SPLEEN?"

I WANTED THE COOL JOHN LENNON WIRE RIMS, BUT OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEAPER ONES, THICK BLACK HORN RIMS.

THEY CAME WITH THE ELECTRICIAN TAPE ALREADY ON ONE CORNER.

THESE DAYS THERE ARE LOTS MORE CHOICES.

GLASSES WERE A MEDICAL AID, NOW THEY'RE A FASHION STATEMENT.

THEY HAVE SOME WACKY FRAMES FOR MEN, WEIRD SHAPES AND COLORS WITH WIRES AND BITS STICKING OUT.

YOU WOULD LOOK LIKE YOUR HEAD GOT CAUGHT IN FARM MACHINERY.

NOW MY EYES ARE CHANGING AGAIN.

I'M GETTING MORE NEARSIGHTED AS I GET OLDER.

IT'S THE ULTIMATE IRONY — I'VE WORN GLASSES MY WHOLE LIFE, NOW I HAVE TO TAKE THEM OFF TO SEE.

SO I WENT TO GET READING GLASSES.

YOU DON'T NEED A PRESCRIPTION FOR THESE, YOU JUST TRY THEM ON LIKE SHOES.

EVEN IF YOU PICK WRONG, THEY CAN'T HURT YOUR EYES BECAUSE YOU LOSE THEM TOO FAST.

YOU NEED THAT CHAIN AROUND YOUR NECK, LIKE THE CRABBY LIBRARY LADY.

SO FINALLY I HAD TO GET BIFOCALS.

THAT TOOK SOME GETTING USED TO -- CONSTANTLY NODDING UP AND DOWN LIKE A GIANT BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL.

AND I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH THE SAME EXACT FRAMES, JUST A SLIGHTLY LIGHTER SHADE OF GRAY.